RSO Says: When You Find Yourself In the 'CRAPPYR'

Some days are depressing (especially THESE days).  We experience negativity in the people we encounter, the stories we read, and even within ourselves, being alone and thinking we can escape from it all.  But as human beings, and as artists, there’s a talent which separates us from those who succumb to their depression, and it’s a talent we must practice every single day. 

When you’re feeling like you’re sitting in a stew of shit (i.e., the crapper), use the CRAPPYR to get yourself out of it.  Below you’ll find a fool-proof method to literally turn that frown upside down.

We have to turn negative things into positivity.  Not arbitrarily or at great cost, but because logic (that is, the actual nature of things and relationship between ideas) and rational thought (based on facts, not speculation) can always set us free. 

The process forces us to take a situation and find the OPPORTUNITY in it, to find the PEACE in it, to find the LESSON, the COMFORT, and the GOOD.  Because in this world, we will constantly be faced with things which would otherwise hurt us and get us down… and if we let them, at best we live a zero-sum game (the bad and the good are even), and at worst, we will find ourselves clinically depressed, unable to live our lives the way we know we should. 

So what is the CRAPPYR?  I’ve taken some liberties with this technique for our purposes (and honestly, to form a better acronym) from The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. 

C – Choose to do and think right. 

R – Resist temptation and bad influences.

A – Accept what you can and can’t control.

P – Purpose, what is your life’s purpose?

P – Prepare for what lies ahead and whatever may come

Y – Yearn to be better. 

R – Refuse negative thoughts and things that aren’t true. 

Let’s say you’re struggling with going to that audition or sleeping in.  On one hand, you’ve been feeling down about your work, and you’re awfully tired … and people need sleep right?  On the other hand…

Choose to do and think right.  I have found that the “right answer” is almost always clear to us.  It’s that the pain of losing out on the pleasure of the “wrong choice” haunts us; or we want to minimize suffering at any cost.  Next time you’re faced with a choice, see if you can’t reasonably what the “right” and “good” answer is, according to being a good, motivated, strong human … whether or not you select that!  

... Do get pizza or not to get pizza at 3am?  Not to get pizza is what is good and right. 

... To go to the gym or stay warm in our comfy bed?  To go to the gym is what is good and right. 

... To confront our roommate with honesty about our qualms, or to yell at her/passive aggressively haunt her, or to ignore the situation completely?  To confront our roommate with honesty is obviously the right answer. 

... To call our parents, or to avoid them another day?  To call our parents is obviously the right answer. 

You’re an actor in NYC, and inside you you KNOW that you can find another time to sleep.  And every audition is a chance to perform.  Even waiting in line reminds you you’re doing all you can to pursue your dreams. 

Repulse temptation and bad influences.  It’s tempting to stay in the warmth of our bed and indulge in more sleep, but you must repulse the pleasure principle when it is in the way of what you know is right.  Beware indulging and pleasuring yourself when it’s in the way of goodness and self-betterment. 

Further, repulse the fellow actor who convinces you to stay home.  Repulse the roommate who makes you feel poorly about your career choice and how hard it is to wake at 5am for what you feel may be a fruitless venture.  These are sources to bring you down. 

Accept that you can’t control your AEA status and 5am is the way to go to this call.  But you can control making your own work, motivating yourself and finding other opportunities.  While you’re waiting in line, send some emails to an old collaborator/colleague, make plans to do something artistically and stimulating that is totally within your control, and don’t allow yourself to feel badly or sad about things that aren’t in your control. 

Purpose.  You’re an actor in NYC, and your purpose is to do musical theater.  Your purpose is not to sleep.  Need I say more? 

Prepare for the annoyance of waiting in that line, of dealing with the self-doubt.  Prepare and bring a self-help book, or a favorite, upbeat album.  Make a snack you really love that is healthy.  Prepare that you may not be seen, and accept it before you even go on the train.  Prepare to laugh about it, prepare to soothe yourself afterwards with something stimulating.  CAN YOU create a win-win for yourself??

Yearn to be better, which means not succumbing to the physical temptation and desire (noticing a pattern here?).  The better version of you pushes through, rallies, and does the hard (good) stuff. 

And perhaps the most important step …

Refuse the negative thoughts, and things that aren’t true, like the thought that you aren’t cut out for this (you are), the thought that everyone is laughing at you behind you’re back (they’re not), the thought that you’ll never be AEA (you will someday if you keep working your ass off) or this will never get easier (in some ways it will, and new challenges will emerge). 

Try it with some negative situation you find yourself in today, whether it’s small or large.  Transform the negative INTO the positive!

Put this system in the “notes” on your phone, and practice with it at some point in the next three days.  Imagine a scenario…

If you’re having trouble specifically with one of these steps and you don’t know how to turn a negative into a positive, text me, and I’ll help you find the solution. 

Your RSO

#BookedIt: Melissa Weyn

Actor Therapy alum Melissa Weyn has #BookedIt!


Actor Therapy alum Melissa Weyn will be joining the national tour of Rodger’s and Hammerstein’s The Sound of Music as Sister Sophia! In addition to her regular track, Weyn will also understudy the leading role of Maria. We could NOT be more proud of you, Melissa!

"Actor Therapy had me discover such great, personalized audition material which, in turn, gave me that extra boost of confidence when in the audition room. I feel like they really pushed and challenged me to discover where I fit in the business and to go after the parts that are right for ME with everything I've got. I felt so steady going in for my SOM Tour audition because I had worked the songs in class with Lindsay and Ryan. Can't wait to get back into class after tour!"

For more on Melissa, check out her website!

Find Melissa on social media @melweyn 

Actor Therapy Summer Cabaret Series at Don’t Tell Mama

ALIXE WARD, July 21st at 9:30PM

Have you ever been on a weird date (or in the bathroom) and wondered, “Has this ever happened to anyone else?” – yes it has, and it was bad. If it would embarrass you to discuss with your Nana, our beloved Pope Francis, or Dame Julie Andrews then it’s certain to come up at Alixe Ward’s debut cabaret performance. Poop, puberty, parties, and panties fly in this awkward confabulation of what it means to like someone.


Alixe Ward is a proud Texas native and a University of Tulsa alum. Alixe has performed at Ogunquit Playhouse (Grease) and Casa Mañana (Les Mis and Grease) and will continue to work regionally as long as the food is good. Favorite credits include Avenue Q (Kate Monster/Lucy T. Slut), Hello, Dolly! (Minnie Fay), and The Drowsy Chaperone (Janet). Proud member of AEA.





KYLE COUGHLIN, August 4th at 9:30PM


Kyle Coughlin is an NYC based performer who holds his BFA in musical theatre from Point Park University. A Texas Native, Kyle’s select credits include, Evita at Zach Theatre, The New Moon (Alexander) at Lyric Stage, Chicago at Austin Playhouse, and 9 to 5: The Musical (Josh) at Garland Summer Musicals.

Join Kyle Coughlin at his debut NYC solo cabaret with a night of laughs, gasps, and epitaphs as he grabs his best vanity hand mirror and reflects… Because in order to move forward, he must look back.



TESS RICHIE, August 11th at 9:30PM

For an evening that’s sure to get you laid, head over to Tess Richie's debut cabaret! Looking for love in all the wrong places? You’re in good company. Tess will air her dirty laundry and offer dating advice in between sultry jazz tunes and new interpretations of contemporary hits.  

Tess Richie is a professional matchmaker and performer in NYC.  She has appeared scantily clad in several Off Broadway shows and her original comedy,SHAME-FULL, was awarded ‘Best of the Fest’ at the Emerging Artist’s Theatre Festival. Catch her podcast Coffee and Secrets on iTunes and check



MARIEL BLATT, August 18th at 9:30PM

Join Mariel Blatt for a night of belting, Brooklyn realness, and raucous-but-(probably)relatable antics as she reflects on her ongoing journey through her self-proclaimed rainbow ocean of emotions.

Mariel Blatt is a Brooklyn babe who earned her BFA at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts. Mariel was most recently sailing throughout Europe and Asia (first time out of the country!), performing as a featured singer on the maiden voyage of Royal Caribbean's Ovation of the Seas. Other meaningful productions Mariel has been a part of are Let My People Come (Off-Broadway revival), Falsettos (Trina), Nine (Sarraghina), and Kiss of the Spiderwoman (first female portrayal of the Warden).



RSO Says: Glad To Be Unhappy




You look sad.  

I know.  It's a weird time.  Maybe a hard time.  And I have been there... for years.  And I have thought a lot about it, during, after, and now, even before I know it's bound to happen again.  I want to help you to understand and cope with your unhappiness.

I want to make you "GLAD TO BE UNHAPPY."

Look at yourself, if you had a sense of humor

You would laugh to beat the band

How I discovered unhappiness

While unhappiness is a common occurrence and it's safe to say eventually we all encounter it, some of us take a long time to truly discover it.  I didn't discover unhappiness until I was 27.

My whole life, I'd never lost a relative; had always been the breaker-upper, not the abandoned; had always known what I wanted and strove to get it, and I did regularly.  Even not moving quite quickly enough always in my career, and some unrequited love affairs couldn't really bring me down.  I woke up every single day looking forward to what lay ahead.  I loved my life.

But on May 15, 2012 (not that I remember the date LOLS), a professional catastrophe — getting fired by a major corporation — set in motion five straight years of unhappiness.  Yes, while you've all known me, I would classify myself as an unhappy person, waking up every day and desperately trying to figure out how to make the absolute best of my lot.


Yet, by the end of this article, I'll provide you with the 8 Steps to Being Successfully Unhappy.  But first —

The experience of unhappiness

Now, being unhappy doesn't mean that you don't have anything positive in your life.  And it doesn't mean that you don't have anything great going for you... after all, lots of very famous and very powerful people kill themselves; others dope their lives to nothingness in drugs and alcohol.  I had a successful Jasper in Deadland, numerous commissions, a wedding to an incredible man ... but REASONS TO BE HAPPY do not necessarily correlate with the state of happy/unhappiness.

Scaling unhappiness...  I think of happiness on a scale, from -10 to +10, from abject despair to utter euphoria.  At 0, you feel stable, you feel "fine," you feel "okay," nothing to complain about and nothing you're too excited about.  And I think of the "absolute" state of being as the sum of all considerations, including day to day knocks and wins.

When I was happy, I didn't know it, but I had a solid cushion of +5 all the time.  It meant on my bad days, I would be at a +1; on my better days, a +8 or +9.  So no matter what I was living in happiness.

When I became unhappy, I lived in a ditch of -2 ... some months 0 or +1 (like when Jasper played the 5th avenue) and others -4 (like when Jasper got horrible reviews at the 5th avenue).  So any minor knock or pain HURT SO MUCH.  And success was just a nice thing, but left me still unfulfilled.

Right now, what's your general cushion?  Are you living mostly at +3?  Hurting a bit around -2?  Write down your number.


🐕 🐕 🐕


My mental state is all a-jumble

I sit around and sadly mumble

"Turn that frown upside down!" and more reasons people should fuck off

You guys, unhappiness is real.  It is the acknowledgement by our souls that we want very much for ourselves, and we are (or feel) presently unable to control our environment in order to attain it.  We feel powerful and capable yet helpless.  Unhappiness is a natural feeling and has rational causes.

YES, some orthodox stoics and yogis might say: "Want less.  Want nothing.  This is the key to true happiness."  Okay, tell that advice to hungry theatre people.  Good luck, and kill yourself.

Yes, you could go home and be a school teacher.  You could give up your dreams in order to find a calmer, more peaceful state.  But that's not what you want and the "sweet relief" potentially proposed seems like the act of self-immolation, like cutting off your arm ... the feeling of panic sets in, and you turn to your unhappiness and say, "well I'm not THAT unhappy yet..."  


There, see?  You're already a little more glad to be unhappy.

But how do I know if I'm unhappy?  What is the mental headline you wake up to every day?  Is it frustration with yesterday and the impending bleck of your workday or social engagement?  Is it jealousy and fear?  Are your dreams, generally, on the darker side?  You may be unhappy.

Fools rush in, so here I am

Coping with your unhappiness

Be honest with yourself and others

Tell yourself you're unhappy RIGHT NOW.  But BELIEVE it will change. "Everything is only for now."

If someone asks you how you are, be honest without inflicting damage onto them.  With a smile say, "Ya know, it's not my favorite time but I'm learning a lot about myself!" or "Some days are hard lately, I feel a little depressed, but I'm reading some excellent books and taking better care of my health all the while!"

Here^, you've affected honesty about your condition (which may call your dearest friends to arms for you), but demonstrating rational thinking and strength ... you may even inspire those who you talk to who are unknowingly depressed.

But DO NOT I repeat DO NOT advertise it

Do NOT talk about your unhappiness on social media.  Ever.  It is bad for business and also is much more long-lasting than you know.  You are providing people who hardly know you with a personal understanding of your state.  This information is for your heart trust, the people closest to you who are on your team ... they need this honesty; it is NOT THE BUSINESS of your acquaintances, false friends, and your vindictive periphery.

Bring heart-warmers closer and push bringer-downers away

In your present state, you need all the help you can get.  Spend more time with those who make you feel good, better about yourself, and inspire you to do things for yourself.  

And those who make you feel sad and worse, spend less time with them, cut them out of your life if possible or at the very least don't knowingly place yourself unnecessarily in their midst. (This may be especially tricky if some of your bringer-downers are your parents.)


I wrote an article about this, THE FRIEND MATRIX, if you want more on this.

Good for the body and good for the soul

I don't need to tell you something you already know, but exercise — including the gym, running, spinning, yoga, etc. — is essential for your body's well being and also your mind.  If you are unhappy and not taking care of your body, you are making your life harder by 50% already.  

Eating right and feeding yourself with things that are good for you (including, perhaps, cheat days, if that's part of your story), are also vital.  And then of course....

Getting high with a little help from...

On a controversial note, there are many extra-curricular substances which may also bring relief or contribute positively to your journey in moderation.  

As the son of an alcoholic, I keep a cautious relationship to one of my dearest and most important friends, Mrs. Bourbon.  While my addictive personality finds work most attractive, I certainly do count my alcoholic beverages, do my research on spotting bad behaviors, and I make sure moderation is always in my grasp.

But, getting high every now and then, or a drink or two, may provide life with a little less of its edge.  I am not telling you to do drugs and become an alcoholic.  But I (and my general practitioner who balked when I told him I was afraid I drank too much) am here to say many studies show these substances IN MODERATION can contribute to better mental health.  It's not called "medicinal" for nothing.

You have to do what's right for you.  For some of you, a little bit can lead to a lot of it, which naturally will create deeper and worse unhappiness — in your case, stay away from the green stuff and liquid sugar.  (But for those able to keep control of these habits, bottoms up.)

Fill your life with joy

Make a list of 10 things you love or love to do.  If you love river otters, go to the aquarium.  If you love Jane Austen, go buy a novel you haven't read or get an edition you don't have.  The museum?  Go!  Your friend Pam?  Hey Pam let's fuck!  Whatever it is ... whatever THEY ARE, your life welcomes a list of the good things you enjoy.

A warning though (NOW a warning?)... should you find yourself choosing human beings among your most joyful assistance ... don't cling to them or you may find yourself draining the living thing you love.  Be careful to remember they cannot make you happy — you are making yourself happy with someone you love.  

And the greatest advice on coping: GIVE LOVE

When your buckets are empty and your spirit feels like it could really use a friend, I encourage you to give someone love.

Text your friend and tell them you're thinking of them.  Buy someone a sweet gift.  These actions will make you feel great, and will of course make someone else feel great too.

Sure, the idea of "giving love to get love" sounds quid pro quo (and it is) — but that's life.  In our businesses as in our romances and friendships, we aren't here for charity.  We make ourselves worthy of positive relationships through our strength and goodness, and we share that with others, who in turn share that with us.  

Red Alert: the depths of unhappiness

But it must be stated: suicidal thoughts and destructive behaviors require help.  If you have found yourself doing anything (including binge drinking/eating or sex that left you feeling badly about yourself) — this is a moment for you to bring in the big helps... therapy, urgent counseling, rehab, etc.  Tell someone you love about these behaviors and ask if you should get treatment.


8 Steps to Being Successfully Unhappy

Very glad to be unhappy

I can't win, but here I am

More than glad to be unhappy



For some of you this will be easy, and don't be afraid to be very, brutally honest.  Simplicity is key, and you may find the easiest way to get this is to reverse your life's primary ambition.  "I want to be a Broadway star!" becomes your unhappiness: "I am not yet a Broadway star, and do not feel close or on track."  

Accepting your unhappiness, staring it in the face, and as we discussed earlier, CHOOSING IT (instead of say, going home and being a school teacher and setting fire to your dreams), is vital to successful unhappiness.

Choose your unhappiness by saying "Yes, you are why I am unhappy — and if not for you, I would have no dreams.  Thank you unhappiness for reminding me what I really want, and pushing me to discover new solutions to attain it."



Now that you have discovered your unhappiness, you MUST be careful not to re-direct or project your unhappiness onto someone else, blaming them in the process, when you know damn well why you're hurting.

Simply said: DO NOT treat your boyfriend like shit because you're not on Broadway yet.  He didn't buy dish soap, but he didn't stop you from having an agent.  He showed up to the show 15 minutes late, but he didn't fuck up your callback.

These behaviors are natural and common.  We just want a hug and we want our boyfriend to say, "I'm sorry you're hurting, I see you and I love you and I'm going to consider you extra much right now because I know you need that."  But people can't tell you that every day.  



Your "heart trust" is your closest group of 5-6 people: your bestest friends, and your significant other, and possible a parent or two.  As discussed, when they ask you how you are, tell them the truth, but also indicate a positive direction forward (for you must have one).



As I talked about in my daily rituals, Facebook/Twitter/Insta, etc., has only a few purposes:

  • To tell you how great your friends are doing: you, who are unhappy, will feel small and betrayed by fortune

  • To tell you how horrible our country is doing: you have enough to worry about in your own life

  • To tell you how angry your friends are about something: anger is not going to help your heart create good new things

  • To be silly and funny: this is distracting you from the things that will truly make you happy.

And on the flip side, if YOU are posting -- well, if you're posting something you're proud of and you're inclined to check your # of likes etc., you are putting more of yourself on the chopping block... if you're beloved today and unloved tomorrow, this may cause despair; if you're never loved on social media, what a pain.  

At the very least, stay off social media in the morning.  If you must be on Facebook, I recommend you do it in the evening, between 5-8pm.

(For me, in case you're curious: I use Buffer App, which allows me to post on social media all at once in the morning, and I completely forget about it, enough so that I remain present in the SM sphere, but not engaged.)



In my darkest moments, I had to remind myself in a list of the good things I had in my life.  Accounting them was useful.  The love of my husband, my parents.  My dog.  My previous successes.  A friend or two.  Bourbon.  Sondheim.  You know.

And I had to remember that when it rains it pours ... and before I had my earlier successes, I had many, many, many failures.  Before I was somebody at all, I was nobody.  Before I was fired, I was hired.  It can get worse, and thank goodness for that.  But it will get better.



This might be your heart trust, but is the end of the line in your times of need.  These are the people who will take your call and sit on the phone for an hour; who'll rush to meet you for drinks, or come right over with pizza and greens.

Don't put this all on one person ... and remember these are emergency breaks, not crutches.



For all the good importance I've put on unhappiness, it is still, nonetheless, unhappiness.  Every day, you must do something to battle it, or it will overcome you.  

(The Babadook ending is about just this thing, in case you were curious.  If you haven't seen it, it's a great meditation on grief and coping.)


For me, my weapons were:

  • Daily rituals

  • The gym

  • Writing EVERY DAY

  • Planning future events to be excited about

  • Eating right

  • Treating myself at intervals, because fuck, I'm worth it

  • Seeing people I love

  • Avoiding people who suck

  • Reviewing my life every 3-6 months to check in and redirect negative behaviors and embrace/emphasize my positive ones


For all the heart trust and memo of people at the end of the line, this is your unhappiness.  It's not your parents', and it's not your signifo's.  You mustn't let your despair bring them down (if you can help it), and you mustn't impede their own progress.

An anecdote.  For me ...

During my unhappiness, my husband's career went from almost nothing to the Second Coming.  While I can honestly say I was never jealous (his money is my money after all...), it became so hard to wake up and feel sad about my life while he was going off to shoot a Broadway show.  And then two years later when he was complaining that shooting 7 Broadway shows in the season was simply not enough for him.  When I was so far from Broadway I felt like I was living along on Mars...

But for all the mistakes I made (and many at him), I am proud of myself that every day I battled PRIVATELY and ALONE.  And in my darkest moments when I was getting it twisted, I calmly reminded him "I'm not in a great place right now, and I am [working my ass off to stay afloat in the following ways]; I need a little bit of support and extra right now.  Thank you.  It may be one day the table's will turn and I will give you the extra, too, I promise."

Rational requests for someone to cut you a break are fair, but must be used wisely and without regularity.


And for all of this, I'm proud to tell you, from the other side of this (what has felt like a solid five years of unhappiness), that on reflection, my unhappiness was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me.  Here's why.

The joys of unhappiness

The day I got fired, I did not cry.  I did not break anything.  I went to Chipotle.

And alone, I made two decisions that very same day:

  • I would start the process of proposing to my husband (which I did, 13 months later)

  • And I would write a musical I'd been waiting to write, We Foxes

  • While writing We Foxes, I discovered vulnerability in my work I had never seen before.  I was no long interested in the crazy loud screaming rock music I had been writing...


I wanted to write tenderness and with hope for the light at the end of the tunnel.


These words were as much for this character as they were for me:


















Unhappiness gets better, because it has to.

Because when you are fighting it and telling it you will not give up, when you CHOOSE it, it will get tired and it will give in.  Welcome Happiness with open arms, and share it with those who need it.

And know, Unhappiness will come back.

Because Happiness and Unhappiness are a balanced force.  When we have the thing we want, we want more, as humans.  It's natural.  When we hurt, we will seek relief; when we are comfortable, we will strive through danger for what's next.  

Believe in the balance, and trust the balance.

And battle on.

Like a straying baby lamb

With no mammy and no pappy

I'm so unhappy

But oh, so glad!





#BookedIt: Mijon Zulu

Actor Therapy alum Mijon Zulu will take on The Color Purple in South Carolina!


Directed by Broadway’s Evan Pappas (Parade, My Favorite Year, A Chorus Line), The Arts Center of Coastal Carolina brings The Color Purple to life for audiences in South Carolina. Zulu will take on an ensemble track, covering the role of Ol’ Mister. Previews begin on October 4th, with an opening night of October 6th, running through the 22nd.

According to The Arts Center of Coastal Carolina’s website:

“From Alice Walker’s bestseller and Stephen Spielberg’s Oscar-nominated film comes a stage musical with a fresh, joyous score of jazz, ragtime, gospel and blues. Hailed as “One of the greatest revivals ever!” by New York Magazine, The Color Purple is the epic tale of 40-years in the life of a family in rural Georgia. At its center is fourteen-year-old Celie. When Celie is forced by her overbearing father to marry a cruel farmer, called “Mister,” she is separated from all that she loves. With a soul-raising score, The Color Purple gives an exhilarating new spirit to this Pulitzer Prize-winning story. This stirring family chronicle follows the inspirational Celie as she journeys from childhood through joy to anguish and then hope as she discovers the power of love and life.

The beautiful production garnered eleven Tony nominations, and The Color Purple won the 2016 Tony Award for Best Musical Revival, two Drama Desk awards, and the 2017 Grammy for Best Musical Theater Album. “

For tickets and more information, check out

Find Mijon Zulu on social media!

Facebook: Mijon Zulu

Instagram: @majorzu


RSO Says: The Friend Matrix

By Ryan Scott Oliver



Let's talk about friends, baby.

Maybe lately you've been feeling unmotivated, uninspired.  Or maybe you had coffee with a mentor, and suddenly a jolt of action hit you?!  Did you hang with a friend who booked a huge gig — and you left feeling small, and bad about yourself ... OR, did you leave feeling like anything was possible?

The people we hang out with, or rather, the people we see most often (like our coworkers, roommates, family members) have a tremendous impact on our lives.  We absorb the energy of other people — some of us more than others (the most spongy of which we call "Empaths") ... meaning, when your boyfriend is in a great mood you're like, wow I'm in a great mood too!  Or when your friend vents for the 11th day in a row about her shitty job, and you feel sad afterwards ...  Or when your roommate you normally go to auditions with suggests "What's the point?" while the other roommate says "Hey, come with me to the gym!"

Some people are great influences, and others are really fucking shitty influences.


Make a list of the 5 people you see most. (Again, this is not necessarily your "five best friends."  This is simply who you end up seeing the most and spending your time with.)

Then ... maybe a secondary list of 10-15 more you would say you see once every six months.  Likely these are closer friends you don't see too much, and peripheral acquaintences.  Maybe some family members back home.

Interesting: They say you are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most.  I have found this to be true!  What about you?



Now let's do something that some of you might find a little icky — while others of you (the Type A folks) will find tremendously illuminating ...


It's called the Friend Matrix.  

Inspired by The Approval Matrix, where a list of items are placed somewhere within two axes which equally influence the item.

Vertical axis: Brain Stimulation

For our purposes, I suggest our "up axis" is INSPIRATION.  Only you can determine what really inspires you.  I find hard-workers, brainiacs, mentors, and anyone I feel like I am challenged by to be HIGH inspiration.  People who make me feel lazy, unmotivated, and reluctant to take care of myself would be LOW.  You might also think of this as a scale of "brain stimulation."  But then, power and clout may also factor in here ... perhaps a playwright friend who is always getting things done whom you admire (and may want to work with some day); or even a director you worked with once that makes you career-hungry (in a positive way).  So you might also factor in "influence/power" here as well.

Horizontal axis: Heart Stimulation

This is about SPIRIT ...  It's about feeling HAPPY and fun, enjoying your life, enjoying being you.  Your best friend from home doesn't know anything about musical theatre and can't help you with auditions or getting to the gym, but when you're with him, you feel your heart is bursting, and you're laughing all the time.  A drink with this person makes everything better ... they are HIGH on this axis.  But someone who puts you down, makes you feel badly about yourself and your choices, who yells at you and chastises you, criticizes you, makes you feel unnecessarily and unfairly jealous ... these are LOW on the axis.

Now take a moment and register your list of folks on the matrix.  It may feel weird at first, but the results may create a permanent life change that makes it all worthwhile ...

  • You may discover there's someone in your life you need to see more, who for whatever reason, you haven't taken seriously enough and you need to simply put more time into

  • Or, you may discover you're spending too much time with someone who, frankly, isn't worth your time and consistently brings you down

  • Most of the people will only reaffirm their existing positions, but once you factor in the importance heart and brain stimulation, you may become newly aware of someone.


People in your upper right quadrant are the most valuable people in your life (highest brain and highest heart).  See them more!  Text and call them more! (If it's possible!!)

There is someone in your life you aren't loving hard enough and they deserve MORE from you.


People in your lower left quadrant are the least, and you may consider more distance from them.  No excuses here: why do you HAVE to see her every week?  Why do you HAVE to spend your lunch break with him?  Get "busier."  Have new commitments.  

This is your life, and people who aren't earning your time simply don't deserve it.




Make a list of 5 actions you can take after reviewing your matrix.  Chances are actions look like:

  • Texting/seeing someone more regularly (challenge yourself to do it every Monday, or every three weeks, etc.)

  • Taking more time for yourself and finding the strength to tell bring-downers "no."

  • Even if The Friend Matrix feels too calculating to you, it's vital to review our relationships occasionally, or you may wake up one day realizing you didn't appreciate someone enough and they're gone ... or that you've gotten into an unhealthy pattern with an emotional monster. :)




RSO Says: The Importance of Daily Rituals

By Ryan Scott Oliver

I've long been fascinated by the daily rituals of artists ...

and I believe starting your day right is responsible for at least 30% of your daily success.  It focuses you, brings comfort and peace, and can help you make healthy choices.

Mason Curry collected the daily rituals of a few hundred artists — everyone from Stephen King to Ayn Rand to Emily Bronte and Chopin — and for a whole year I read one short chapter a day (a chapter is about a page), and that was very insightful.  Among the things I learned:

  • Composers like to walk

  • 95% of successful artists do their most important art in the morning

  • Many people work in two phases, separated by a nap

  • Often people will save correspondences and meetings for the afternoon, when their brains are slightly more tired and they may be more amenable and easy-going

Check out and buy Mason Curry's book Daily Rituals here.

As to MY daily rituals ...

For the last several years, my daily rituals have been as follows, and I've enjoyed them, though NOT as much as the incredible new system I've discovered (you'll read about that shortly).

  • Wake up, feed dog, make coffee, make breakfast.

  • Sit down at computer, "buffer" my tweets (pre-set them to run during the day so I never have to worry about them)

  • Read a short chapter in something (like Daily Rituals, or my latest two books: The Obstacle is the Way and The Daily Stoic — both on stoicism)

  • Take my vitamins

  • Schedule review health and fitness goals, etc.

  • Lastly... organize my daily to do list, looking at a massive list of items, and pulling what I think I could reasonably accomplish for the day (knowing that regularly I will only accomplish 80% of the list by the end of the day)

But recently, I discovered a new set of daily rituals which take 45 minutes which majorly improved upon my own, and I want to share them with you and encourage you to try them out for one full week — at least the weekdays.

Check out the PDF article I read here, (by Tim Ferriss) and get my take below.

So basically, there are 5 steps, which I've reduced to categories.


The second you wake up, tidy some area of your home.  This gets you up and active, and already makes you feel like you're getting your life together.  Tim Ferriss makes his bed; but I tend to get up earlier than my husband and so I have decided to tidy the kitchen: dishes away, dishes in the dishwasher, a quick wipe of the counter.


Tim Ferriss recommended meditation, and I resisted.  Mindfulness effectively means, you're taking time to find peace of mind.  I thought maybe taking the dog out would work — but I realized it was too stressful when I was trying to find inner calm.  So I, a novice meditater, bit the bullet and do a 10-minute meditation using the base skills I know.  I set my iPhone for 10 minutes, sit in a chair with my hands in my lap and feet on the floor, and after initially letting my thoughts come as they may, I try to find blankness, simplicity, and clarity.  For some of you, this is a great time to do 10 minutes of yoga!


Da fuck you say????  YES.  This is actually my favorite of the new rituals!!  Tim Ferriss does 10 pull-ups; for me, I do 10 push-ups.  And to keep me challenged, every day I add one more rep.  If I skip a day, I go backwards.  

Then — the SHOWER.  Yeah, not a soapy cleansy one — literally hop in the shower for 30 seconds-1 minute.  Start with lukewarm water, nothing oppressive but not warm, and gradually take the temperature down until it's a temperature you could stand for only a bit, like a chilly ocean.  You'll find your brain ALERT and you are refreshed, and did you notice — you haven't even had ...


Tim Ferriss makes this elaborate bougie tea that ought to be hocked by Goop, and deserves to be called "gay" AND I love coffee.  So here's where I make coffee, and also breakfast, something light between 200-300 calories, probably a smoothie or eggs and toast.


Here's an area that, if you don't take anything else from this list, I really recommend you give some thought to this one.  Self-work, to Tim Ferriss, is journaling for 5 minutes.  For me, it's similar, but I have a running doc where I think of three things on my mind, usually troubling things.  Names of friends/loved ones I'm having issues with; subjects that stress me out; or an activity today I need to mentally prepare for.  And then I write my thoughts out, always remembering that "the right choices" for our human behavior are usually very clear to us ... just not always easy to do.  Taking this moment to write them out and remind myself to be a good and better person every day has been very very positive for me.  And I'm STILL an asshole — so can you imagine what I'd be if I didn't take this step?

So give this a try for one week.  Do your best to allow yourself to take at least 3 days in a row before you take a day off if you must (so many of you may want to try this starting July 5).  And you know what they say — it takes 3 weeks to make a habit!



#BookedIt: Mark Andrew Garner

Actor Therapy alum snags his EQUITY CARD!

Actor Therapy alumni Mark Andrew Garner will take on the role of Neleus in the Alabama Shakespeare Festival’s production of Mary Poppins! The show runs July 5th - July 30th 2017.

Of course, we’re pumped that he’s #BookedIt, but we’re even more pumped that...he’ll be getting his EQUITY CARD! According to Mark, “It's been my goal this year to book EMC points...and I just so happened to negotiate this contract to equity. It's truly a testament to our work in the studio every week. Getting my book up to snuff, accountability in my acting choices, and consistency in confidently performing. As you know, I didn't have two/4 years of college training...but showing up (and SHOWING UP) to AT every week was difficult and challenging out of my comfort zone, but ultimately ridiculously rewarding.”

Mark Andrew Garner (Neleus/Ensemble) is making his ASF debut! Proud graduate of NYC’s Broadway Dance Center #ProSemNation, he was recently Swing and Young Max u/s on the Grinch National Tour at the Grand Ole Opry House. Off-Bwy: Brassheart (Royal Family), A Christmas Carol and The Little Mermaid (Players Theatre), N.A.A.P.’s Oliver! with Baayork Lee (Signature). Favorite Credits: Seymour Little Shop; Angel Rent, Ching Ho Millie, IQ Hairspray. Kudos to his agent Stefanie Field of S.T.E. and Kreindler/Super Mgt. <3TJS

“The “practically perfect in every way” nanny returns to the ASF Festival Stage. Young Jane and Michael Banks have sent many a nanny packing before Mary Poppins arrives on their doorstep. Using a combination of magic and common sense, she teaches the entire Banks family how to value each other again.

Mary Poppins showcases some of the most memorable songs ever sung on the silver screen and stage including “Chim Chim Cher-ee,” “Jolly Holiday,” “A Spoonful of Sugar” and “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!”

Recommended ages four and up.” (

For tickets, click here:




For more on Mark, check him out on social media!


For more on Actor Therapy:

#BookedIt: Gina Chapman

Actor Therapy’s Gina Chapman has #BookedIt!

Chapman will take part in new presentation of FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH



'For What It's Worth' is a new take on the classic story of William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet, using the power of music and movement as the language to tell this story of forbidden love.The play is a musical battleground - Jazz VS. Classical. The reason for this uproar is that lead musician on Trumpet, Christopher falls in love with lead violinist, Carolina.  Set in the 1930's, the show will feature all live music performed by the players.


Gina will play violin as Carolina's (Juliet) younger sister!


Gina Chapman is thrilled to make her NYC violinista debut in FWIW!  Originally from the Bay Area-CA, Gina is an as an actor, singer, dancer, and violinist who recently moved to New York.  She is a graduate from the University of Redlands with a BA in Theatre Arts with Honors & Vocal Performance Music Minor, and has also studied classical acting and musical theatre at LAMDA, NYFA and Lindsay Mendez & RSO’s Actor Therapy.  Favorite roles include Cathy in The Last Five Years, Fraulein Kost in Cabaret, Little Red in Into the Woods.  Gina loves incorporating violin into her characters whenever possible, and also enjoys choreographing, yoga, surfing, scuba diving, and her Pit-Mix pup Rylie!

Instagram: @GinaMarie0224



FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH World Premiere!

Three performances only:

Sunday, April 30th at 2:00pm

Monday, May 1st at 7:00pm

Tuesday, May 2nd at 7:00pm


Theatre 80 St Marks

80 St. Marks Place

New York, NY 10003

Tickets: $20



Tickets are $20 (use promo code "EARLYBIRD" for $5 off)

Instagram: @fwiwnyc

BroadwayWorld Article:

For more on Actor Therapy:


Lindsay Bridges at Don't Tell Mama

Actor Therapy's Lindsay Bridges will take the stage at Don't Tell Mama

Actor Therapy's Lindsay Bridges will bring her own cabaret evening to legendary NYC piano-bar Don't Tell Mama!

Lindsay Mendez and Ryan Scott Oliver's ACTOR THERAPY presents Lindsay Bridges at Don't Tell Mama
Music Direction by Rodney Bush

$12 ticket with a $10 food/drink minimum.
NOTE: Don't Tell Mama is CASH ONLY
Seating starts at 9:00PM

With special guests Kirk Reeves Sobject, Brendan Paine, Desirée Dillon and Brandon Grimes!

Lindsay’s just a small town girl who moved to LA to pursue her singing career at the age of 18. She’s basically Sherie from Rock of Ages… except instead of becoming an exotic dancer, she joined a non-profit group and taught music to kids around the world.This is her first solo Cabaret since moving to New York City, so come out and meet the new girl in town!

Lindsay Bridges has performed alongside Hugh Panaro, and Brian Stokes-Mitchell in Les Misérables in Concert (U/S Eponine), as well as Kelli O'Hara and Shirley Jones in The Music Man (Ensemble) in Los Angeles. She has more recently been seen belting for her life on Carnival Cruise ships and opening for Vanilla Ice in Las Vegas. Her biggest claim to fame is being mistaken for Céline Dion on the street.


Find Lindsay on social media:

Anne Schroeder at Don’t Tell Mama

Friday, April 14th at 9:30PM

At cab-anne.jpg

A scintillating evening that examines the delicate intricacies of love and loss while navigating one’s personal journey towards the discovery of the true self….


Let another cabaret deal with heartbreak and passion, Anne is here to make the world laugh while the first amendment is still a thing. She put her Friday night plans with Don Drapper, Frank Underwood, and Buffalo Trace on hold to be a good friend and help you deal with that CNN alert you just received on your iPhone. She can’t put out the dumpster fires, but she can help you forget them for an hour.

Musical Director: Rodney Bush

Special Guests: Jon Vertuno, Vanessa Pereda-Felix, Jay Felix

Directed By: Eddie Schnecker


Please Note: There is a 2 drink minimum alongside your $12 ticket. Don’t Tell Mama is CASH ONLY


Catch Lindsay Mendez in Significant Other

Actor Therapy co-creator Lindsay Mendez is currently starring in the Roundabout Theater Company’s production of Significant Other on Broadway!

Photo by Matthew Murphy (MurphyMade Photography)

Photo by Matthew Murphy (MurphyMade Photography)

Running through April 23nd, 2017, "Significant Other is a new Broadway play direct from a sold-out Off-Broadway run at Roundabout Theatre Company. The Broadway debut of playwright Joshua Harmon is complemented by the Broadway debut of rising young director Trip Cullman, who guided the play to its successful Off-Broadway engagement. Almost all of the Off-Broadway cast is back for the Broadway engagement, including Gideon Glick, Lindsay Mendez and Barbara Barrie" (Playbill).

For tickets, check out

For more on Significant Other, check out:


For more on Actor Therapy:



AT Alumni Travis Kent is casting a TV Pilot!

Hey AT fam!

It's Actor Therapy and Broadway alum Travis Kent. I'm excited to share that I'm directing and producing a TV pilot that I created and wrote! The show is called PLAIN JANE, and it's about a former beauty queen turned housewife who, on her 70th birthday, leaps out of her comfort zone in suburban Texas and comes to NYC to at least try to live her forsaken dreams of stardom before it's too late. Is that an AT story or WHAT??

We need your help to tell this story! We're seeking actors to create two scenes:

1. Auditioners in a waiting room for a very, VERY downtown production of My Fair Lady. All genders and identities. All ethnicities. All ages. 

2. Beauticians in a barrio beauty salon. Latina ladies of all ages. 

Shoot dates are April 16-19, and you will be on set for one of these days for a few hours. This is a low budget production, so compensation will be craft services (food glorious food) and your name in the credits and on the IMDb page. 

Please send your headshot and resume to for consideration. There are a limited number of spots available, and I want to feature as much Actor Therapy talent as possible. So the sooner, the better!

Be warm and well, friends! I can't wait to tell this story with you. 

- Travis Kent

Actor Therapy returns to Feinstein's/54 Below!

Don't miss an evening hosted by Lindsay Mendez and Ryan Scott Oliver!


“ACTOR THERAPY goes Feinstein’s/54 Below! Hosted by award-winning composer-lyricist Ryan Scott Oliver (35mm, Darling) and Broadway actress Lindsay Mendez (Significant Other, Wicked, Dogfight, Godspell), ACTOR THERAPY is a series of masterclasses for performers looking to improve their auditions, build a better book, and expand their understanding of what it means to be an actor and song interpreter in New York today. Join Ryan Scott Oliver, Lindsay Mendez, and their cast of talented performers as they celebrate the alumni of this memorable program!”



Musical Director: Rodney Bush


Analise Rios

Anna Robbins

Brandon Grimes

Brendan Paine

Devon Chandler

Corey Desjardins

Dailee Morrone

Jaron Barney

Jayson Kerr

Katlyn Nicole Shaw

Kyle LeMaire

Lindsay Bridges

Marissa Mayer

Mark Andrew Garner

Mathew Bautista

Megan Griffith

Melissa Weyn

Nate Richardson

Nicholas Leung

Robin Van Zandt

Suzanna Champion

Tommy Mosqueira

Tess Richie


April 10th, 2016





*Additional $4 if purchased at the venue



For more on Actor Therapy:

Erin Rice at Don’t Tell Mama

Actor Therapy’s Erin Rice will take the stage at Don’t Tell Mama!

Photo by Matthew Murphy (MurphyMade Photography)

Photo by Matthew Murphy (MurphyMade Photography)

Lindsay Mendez & Ryan Scott Oliver present: ERIN RICE at Don't Tell Mama

Friday, April 7th at 9:30PM

Musical Direction: Rodney Bush

Direction by Brian Drummy

With special guests Josephine Spada and Mariel Blatt!

$12.00 cover charge and a 2 drink minimum per person

Seating begins at 9:00PM.

Approximate running time: 65 minutes

Join Erin Rice as she traverses the pages of her life that led her here: to her cabaret debut at legendary nightlife spot Don't Tell Mama! Hop on for a humorous, touching and slightly awkward musical carpet ride. This is a trip through a quarter of a life you won't want to miss!


Erin Rice is a NYC based actor, singer and dancer who holds a BFA from NYU's Tisch School of the Arts. She performed on Broadway in My Thing of Love. Other credits include: The Science Fair Project at Ars Nova, Urinetown at CAP21, The Cradle Will Rock (Moll), Hello Again (The Actress) and State Fair (Eleanor.) Erin is a proud member of Actor's Equity Association and the Screen Actors Guild.

For tickets, click here:




A Day in The Life with Lindsay Mendez

Spend a day with the Actor Therapy co-creator!

Recently, hung out with Actor Therapy co-founder Lindsay Mendez for a “Day in the Life”! Shot by photographer Matthew Murphy (Murphy Made Photography), Mendez brings us through her day...including Actor Therapy!



Check out Lindsay, currently starring in Significant Other on Broadway! For tickets, click here:


For more on Matthew Murphy, check out And, as always, for all your Broadway news, check out




#BookedIt: Emily Brennan

Actor Therapy's Emily Brennan Books the Weathervane Playhouse

Emily Brennan.jpg


Emily Brennan has been cast in Weathervane Playhouse's Summer productions of Children of Eden where she'll be playing a storyteller and Aysha, Peter and the Starcatcher where she'll be understudying the role of Molly, South Pacific playing Sue Yaeger and A Comedy of Tenors playing the role of Mimi. The Weathervane Playhouse is Ohio's longest running not-for-profit professional summer stock theatre!


Emily Brennan grew up on Long Island and has been living in New York City for three years since attending Marymount Manhattan College. There she earned a B.A. in theatre performance, and since graduating in 2016, has done 2 short films and appeared as Beth in Little Women with the AlphaNYC Theatre Company.


Children of Eden: June 1st - June 10th

Peter and the Starcatcher: June 15th - June 24th

South Pacific: June 29th -July8th

A Comedy of Tenors: July 13th -July 22nd


For tickets and more information on the Weathervane Playhouse, check out


For more on Emily, check her out online!